Mar 24
Cynthia Grabenor One Saturday night I remember stopping by my Dad's house 506 Boulevard way. I had my Norton. He asked where I was going . I said Keystone Berkeley to see John Lee Hooker. He remarked that he had some very early JLH records and I should enjoy it. This is Nov or Dec 1972
Keystone was a Black painted storefront on University at Shattuck in Berkeley.
Dark inside as well.
The JLH show was great. But I noticed and started talking with Cindy.
(Lack details) but we agreed to see each other again.
Tail of the Yak (Alcatraz ave)West of telegraph Ave on the south side. Driving past fairly frequently for as many years as the store was in business I was reminded of my time with Cindy once in awhile I would step in .
This was a Tibetan Art store incense and other Tibetan religious and cultural items.
Cindy had a friend who lived nearby , apartment on an upper floor.
"Gene"? An older woman 60 ish who I recalled smoked a lot, she also seemed to be a person with wisdom and advice that Cindy found valuable
Live Oak Oak park museum for a Tibetan art show. Tibetan religious chanting low in the background beautiful art meditative mood.
Live oak Park was where I hung out at age 14 and 15. A very different experience appreciating art than drinking and smoking with my gang of friends. What a difference 5 years made
Cafe Mediterranean Telegraph.
Some of the places we went / met.
She had a son Osiris abut 4. He Ex was Larry Hertz.
He had a Green Pickup truck ( Chevy I think)
Cindy had an old Land cruiser which was problematic.in poor repair.
I introduced her to my Dad at the Trident in Sausalito , I think we had escargot.
Dad liked her and suggested to her that I was a sensitive kid.
Cindy is 4-5 years older than I am.
It occurs to me how much happened in a short amount of time.
We connected
she introduced me to a lot of thought and philosophy and another side of this life experience.
more feeling and intuitive
She had a sense of spirituality and transcendent consciousness.
Carlos Casteneda Joseph Campbell Alan Watts
My persistent vision of Cindy was imagined as an Andrew Weith painting of a girl on a hill below a stone house.
Cindy lived in Saint Helena and worked with the Farm Workers union.
I remember getting croissants and going to this small stone farm house in Sonoma It had a hand pumped well .We had some nice wine there
Pauley Creek
The Girl that came to visit. Cindy Visited me and we had a nice time. I think I had tonsillitis at the time and she brought me some antibiotics.
She stayed a few days I was sad when she left.
A few weeks later we had a visit from a friend of Sterley's One of the guests was a young teen aged girl.
This 15-16 year old came into my tent while everyone was a sleep and we did what young folks do.
This is one of my life regrets . I had some time to think about this and realized she was too young and that I needed to be very careful in life. It seemed stupid since there was no relationship only lust.
I think in retrospect I felt some guilt and lack of fidelity to Cindy. I broke trust and we had a spiritual connection that should have prevailed in my actions.
Eureka
I left the claim to visit Cindy in Eureka. late June foggy it was always foggy there.
She had just moved into a house , the house was south facing, there was a lumber yard nearby .
I remember getting some lumber and building a bed frame for Cindy.
There was some tension unease in the visit. 50 years later I draw the suspicion that my infidelity had a role in this tension.
At the time though I felt a sense of impending loss. a sense of injustice and fate. The spiritual self discovery path that i was on was enhancing my sensitivity to all things. My awareness was very high.
I had also had a very close call on the trip up on highway 99 when I was stopped by the Highway patrol and instead of a ticket the Cop praised my driving. I was at the time facing the military draft and was pretty sure they were looking for me. The last thing I wanted was to have a cop run my ID. He did not.
Saylor
Return
Turn around
Chico
Fire engine
Life change
Draft Status
PTSD? As I look back at the MC accident I am pretty sure the trauma had some long lasting effects. not just physical but an emotional searing., I feel like I had a difficult time with understanding and adapting adjusting to the trauma and the change my life went through . This resulted in a focus on Cindy that felt like a great loss and hole in life. I am ultimately very thankful for the life I have lived and the lessons and life principles which Cindy helped me to codify internally.
